Wanted: Mate
“You need to get laid.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Nick said with a roll of his eyes.

“Yes, and I was giving you a chance to change it.” Phil told him, unimpressed as always.

“Well, too bad. The truth’s out there. And the truth is, you need to get laid.” Nick folded his hands in front of him, like this was some sort of business transaction and not two best friends talking about the other’s sex life. “How long has it been since you actually got laid?”

Phil sighed. “Marcus, I’m not going to discuss this with you.”

“Yes you are. because if you getting laid equals productive and successful ops, then I’m very much discussing this with you.” Nick reasoned. Phil is inclined to agree. Since he’s been holding his libido under lock and key - between the Avengers, his monthly transformations, his responsibilities with SHIELD, and his team on the bus, there really was no time to sate his libido - it’s been a lot harder to remain focused on whatever he was assigned to.

It’s not like he’s lagging behind, though. It’s just that his attitude towards work has been leaning more towards pissy than anything else. Ever since his break-up with Audrey, even he has got to admit that it’s been lonely and that’s not even counting the times he almost lost control of his werewolf self.

“Marcus-”

“Don’t ‘Marcus’ me.” Nick told him with a frown. “You’ve found a prospective mate. I can tell.”

Phil chose not to comment on that in fear of incriminating himself. There came a knock on the door and Phil tensed as the familiar scent of a certain archer seeped in through the door.

“And I think I know who it is.” Nick, the bastard that he is, smirked. “Come in.”

Clint moved next to Phil, unaware of the force of the glare that Phil was directing at Fury. “Do you have a mission for me, sir?”

“Something like that. Although, this time you’re free to decline. Seeing as how it isn’t really a mission.” Fury started to explain.

“Sir?”

“You are aware of Agent Coulson’s… situation, Am I right?”

“The werewolf situation?” Clint asked. It wasn’t exactly a secret among SHIELD agents. A good half of the employees were werewolves and, whenever the mission needed it, they use it to their advantage. It’s a little chaotic when there’s a full moon out, but nothing SHIELD couldn’t handle.

“Yes. And you know that every werewolf needs a mate.” Clint’s frown deepened. Phil felt his cheeks color a bit before he willed it down and chose to join Clint in frowning at the good director. “Normally, I’d allow my agents to go about their business on their own. But Agent Coulson has been a little too busy to actually take care of himself.”

“Just to be clear, you’re asking me to be his bitch?” Clint asked.

Phil willed down the disappointment at the obvious tone of disdain in Clint’s voice. He didn’t think Clint would be so opposed to the idea.

“In fewer words, yes.” Fury stood up and walked towards the door. “I’ll leave you two to decide what happens next. But bear in mind that there are cameras all over this office.”

Fury left the room, leaving the air around Clint and Phil awkward as hell.

Phil was the one to break the silence. “I’ll tell him he’s out of his mind. Please don’t mind him. I can take care of myself.”

Clint snorted. “Clearly.”

Phil narrowed his eyes at Clint. “Do we have a problem, Agent Barton?”

“No, I just- He’s right. You need someone to take care of you. Not just the sex. If it was just the sex, then there’s a line right outside. You can take your pick. I guarantee you they’ll willingly go.” Clint’s throat bobbed, his tell when he got nervous. “But this is more than that, isn’t it? You need someone you trust. Someone who knows you. You need a mate.”

Phil closed his eyes and sighed. There really was no use in hiding it. He nodded.

“Why did Fury call me?”

“You said it yourself. I need someone I can trust and someone who knows me. And I kind of unconsciously chose you to be my mate. Fury noticed.“ Phil explained. “But you are, of course, under no obligation to-”

“I’ll do it.”

“What?” Phil asked, because he couldn’t have heard that right.

“I’ll do it.” Clint repeated. “Under several conditions.”

Phil motioned for him to go on.

Clint grinned. “First, no sex. for the meantime at least. I want to be wooed. Take me out on a date and get me flowers or some shit like that. I want the whole package.” Phil tried to look for any sign that Clint was kidding, but there were none. “Not that you’ll have trouble with the first… Second, when I tell you you need to rest, you will not fight me for 5 more minutes or just until you finish your work. You will let me drive you home and sleep. I will watch you, don’t think I won’t.” Clint told him sternly. “And last, we have lunch together. No more caffeine fueled afternoons or sugar rushed works. Those are my conditions.”

Phil had to work hard not to break out into a grin, so instead, he smiled at Clint. “Those seem reasonable.”

Clint chuckled a little. “Damn right it is.”

“I have a question. Are we allowed to cuddle?”
Wanted: Mate
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